Twinkling
by cleverusernamehere
Summary: Edwin was just your normal vampire living in an utterly lackluster town. Then Isotta came barreling into his perfect picture. Now, she just won't leave him alone. What's a poor guy to do? -Parody of Twilight-
1. Stupid Highschool

**Rating: K**

**Disclaimer: **Twilight is copyright of Stephanie Meyers and its respective publishers. I am merely twisting around the plot. Mwuahaha! ;D

**A/N:** This is just a little experiment of mine. I am not dissing Twilight...Okay, I am, but it's all in good fun! If you guys seem to like it, I already have more planned up! Please enjoy!

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It was a beautiful spring day. The sun's rays cheerfully greeted the student population of the only high school in Fairview, Oregon. A warm breeze blew in from the west, promising fair weather for the rest of that week. The birds tittered away contentedly in the thick, luscious green trees that dotted the spotless campus.

Oh, how Edwin hated it.

There he sat on top of his new black SSR sulking, his dark unruly hair forced under his awesome checkered Fedora hat, and dark designer glasses were perched on the bridge of his thin nose. (As to who designed them, he'll never remember.)

The breeze threatened to blow his hat away, the sound of those annoying chickens screeched painfully in his highly sensitive ears, and the sunlight was terrible for his pale, flawless complexion. Did he mention that it even hurt _just_ to close his eyes because of the stupid, all-happy-looking light?

He had tried worming his way out of school that morning, but _no, _his stupid normal human parents wouldn't allow it. They calmly explained to him that just because he was a supernatural creature and hated sunlight didn't mean he could skip school. To them, school was important. To him? Well, he could really care less.

That's right. He was a vampire. There weren't many of them in Fairview, but the ones that were there he hung out with as much as inhumanly possible. Or, when his parents finally demanded he come home. _Insert disgusted look here_.

So, there he sat, and the bell for homeroom rang. Finally, his "clan" appeared practically out of thin air, which scared the _crap _of a few of the younger students that were idiotic enough to get too close to them. It was amusing enough to cause a smirk to appear on his delicate lips.

He lugged his heavily burdened backpack onto his shoulder and sped up toward his brethren, eager to get this horrible, torturous day over with.

What he didn't know was that the day was about to get ten times more atrocious. Edwin would come to mark this day as the most dreadful day in his entire life, and believe him; he's lived _quite _a while.

It was the day _**she **_came.

His life was about to change dramatically…and for the absolute worse.

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...Reviews??? ;DDD


	2. Impressions

He and his fellow vampires filed after one another into their lifeless homeroom as the other kids watched in absolute awe, mesmerized by their godly, exotic looks. They skulked to the very back as usual. The stupid homeroom teacher (he was _so _boring that Edwin didn't even remember his name) painstakingly called out the roll. _Just_ like always.

_Man, _Edwin thought irritably, _can this get any damned duller? _

Fortunately, the bell for first period relieved them of this horrid torture chamber, and every student, human and vampire alike, burst forth from the belly of the beast—er, room—and scattered for their first, oh-so-wonderful class of the day.

The five "brethren" halted in the middle of the hallway to exchange quiet, very mysterious murmurs to one another, promising to meet up for lunch.

He meandered to his utterly dreaded first class, Government & Economics. Stupid government crap. What was it good for? A huge, steaming pile of nothing. Except for stealing your money and ruining your happiness, that is.

Edwin sulkily plopped down in his desk in between the middle and the back, thankful that there were no other brainless twits that he was forced to call his "classmates" sitting around him. He quickly recovered from his trance when he felt small beads of sweat snake down his neck. The dumbass air conditioner was out _again??_ He was a freaking vampire for Christ's sake, and he was hot. For the rest of the fodder in the room, he couldn't imagine.

Thankfully, the class' teacher, Mr. Hernandez, turned on a fan in the front. Was it not enough that it was really sunny today and that his class has the biggest freaking windows in the whole damn school…with _no _curtains or type of covering over them??

_As much as my parents donate, you'd think this school would be on the moon. Stupid administrators. I bet you they use it on drugs. _

The bespectacled man grinned at his slowly melting pupils. "Alright, class! Guess what? Group project for a test grade!"

A multitude of groans sounded off at his statement, and many arms flailed in the air in horror.

His grin faltered. "Aw, come on, guys! It won't be that bad, I promise."

The teacher began to explain the project and hand out everyone their partners (Edwin was the last one, so he got no partner) and papers when a small, shy knock made itself known on the door.

The entire room became a hushed whisper. No one _ever _came to this side of the hallway during this class.

Mr. Hernandez rolled his eyes at his overly dramatic classroom. He sighed and motioned to the figure outside the door. "Come on in!"

A small, meek looking female entered the room, a sheaf of papers clutched in her small hand.

Edwin felt a vile taste settle on his tongue as the girl stood _right _in front of the fan.

The urge to gag grew increasingly stronger as the stupid girl talked to Mr. Hernandez.

He smiled encouragingly to the female. "Alright, Miss Sherrard, welcome to Fairview High School! I need you to take a seat beside Edwin, on the seventh row, second seat."

Edwin nearly fell out of his seat as his teacher spoke those dreaded words.

The girl's eyes settled on him, and he something horrible flickered in her eyes.

Something bad was about to happen.

His jaw clenched as she walked closer to him and his desk. Desperately, he clasped his hands around the edges of his desk in a death grip. What seemed an eternity later, she approached his desk, a very rabid, creepy smile on the girl's small lips.

She held out her hand for him to shake it. "Hi, Edwin, I'm Isotta."

For some odd reason, Edwin felt as if his clothes were being peeled off of his skin, bit by bit. Oh, no…

He hesitantly unclenched his right hand, a wavering, grimace-like smile on his lips, and he grabbed hers to shake it. "…Hello…Isotta."

Her grip instantly tightened on his hand, and she gazed at him like a starving dog would stare at a very plump, juicy steak. "I really hope we can be friends…Or more." With that, she released his hand from her vice-like grasp.

The creepy girl sat down in her seat as Mr. Hernandez began his lecture once again. She reached into her bag and pulled out a novel. _Breaking Dawn. _

Oh. Hell. No.

How Edwin _detested _that woman! She had made it difficult for a vampire like him to get any sort of freaking peace of mind. He really hated it when he came back from, er… hunting…when his eyes turned from his dull, hungry gray to a more brilliant shade of icy blue. All the girls would look at him, blush and giggle, and start gossiping behind their stupid hands. UGH!

He shivered as he heard her sigh, "Oh, _Edward! _Why couldn't you exist??" Her eyes instantly flickered suggestively toward him as soon as she said that.

Edwin felt a serious chill work its way down his spine in that very hot room.

What sucked more was the fact that the horrible smell hadn't gone away. Angrily, he pressed a hand over his mouth to prevent him from losing his still-digesting "dinner" from the other night. Another wave of nausea crashed over him as Isotta shifted somewhat in her seat.

_That's it. _

That stupid human female was the source! Why hadn't he figured that out earlier?! Her blood smelled as foul as—well, something very foul, like a large, decaying animal. She was definitely_ not_ on his menu…

And his day was about to get worse.

"Edwin! Show Isotta around, will you?" called Mr. Hernandez from his desk.

Edwin felt a piece of himself die at those words. "Sure," Edwin muttered sarcastically, a dark scowl settling on his face, "_Absolutely _delighted to."

Isotta smirked at him, eyes hiding behind her thick eyelashes…

Oh, his day was about to get _a__** lot **__worse__**. **_


End file.
